Marriage: God moves in a mysterious way 50 years on

Simon Snow

Your editor, as keen as ever, suggested last December that an article on Marriage would be appropriate for the following July magazine; with plenty of time, the notion is put on the back burner. 

And then in late March lockdown occurs and married couples are thrown into closer continuous proximity than they have been for months and months. 

In respect to Patricia and myself after only 49 years and 10 months this closeness has been a blessing / surprise and joy. In the year September 1969 to August 1970 we went to 10 weddings, of which ours was the last and at 4 of the others Patricia had been a bridesmaid and I an usher. In the subsequent years we picked up another 3 really good friends who had been married in the same time slot, making a total of 13. 

Now of those, 11 are still together, which does seem like a good result. On occasions we have all reminisced about the plans, trials, tribulations and vast amount of time that went into planning the weddings; not the least into the dresses, bouquets, receptions etc. It was all so much easier in those days with a lovely standard church service with or without choir and bells, a reception that lasted for 2-3 hours and then off!!!!! 

So for the lucky 11, 50 years on, it seemed so simple to organise a celebration / keep the day free / hope you can manage to come / let’s do something different / meet the other bridesmaids and friends whom you haven’t seen for years and years. But then along came Coronavirus and without exception, all the diary dates and plans got scrapped; and the accepted wisdom is the 51 years seems an even better anniversary to celebrate. 

It does feel as if God has had a laugh on us and moved in a mysterious way so that instead of celebrating 50 we have had to self isolate / social distance and simply say ‘’hope to see you next year’’. 

Also with the isolation has come a plethora on Zooms, Facetimes  of a lot of views of books and books. So I am reminded that one of the subjects that has always attracted a multitude of books is Marriage. Good authors have felt a burning need to establish the secrets of a good marriage and filled shelves and shelves, each one proclaiming to have the answer and convinced they have it. 

Whilst considering this and on nearly achieving the 50 [2 months and one day to go] I am comfortable that  in simply following the commitments that we made together in the space of only a few moments, they are as good a basis for marriage to succeed and be happy. So perhaps there is no mystery and it is quite clear…. 

Maybe I will send this article to the other 10 and see if they agree. Results of the poll to follow. 

-Simon Snow